Rumblings continue down in Andratx am Rhein with the Club de Vela taking a number of ‘open letter’ full pages in the local press pointing out (in their opinion) that the concession should not have been given to the declared winner of the concession, IP3M S.L. who run the ‘Marina Port de Mallorca’ in Palma.
Allegations include that both the concessions in Palma and Andratx smell of insider deals with IP3M directors having family ties with politicians and civil servants that awarded the concession.
Into the same battle now comes OSIBAR S.L. another of the bidders for the new concession. OSIBAR runs Port Adriano and Ibiza Magna.
They also have shouted foul and point out that they offered 276 million pesetas whilst IP3M only offered 216 million for the concession.
In the meantime everything is on hold still because The Andratx town hall still has not approved the concession. This may run longer than ‘The Mousetrap’!
You´ve got to laff haven’t you. I volunteered my services on Election Day to help any foreigners if they didn’t know the correct procedure- which in itself is a farce and a complete waste of paper with voting papers being triplicated.
Anyway, I was told being an ‘approved helper’ is a very serious function and I had to fill in a longish form to get approval from the electoral committee of the Baleares.
I had to be there at the polling station at 08:00 sharp to collect my credentials and show them to the president of the polling station and the police.
When I was given my stamped and signed authorisation they had got my name wrong and my DNI number very much resembled my mobile phone number...Duhhhhhhhhhh. Viva Espana I say!
Another observation from voting day which I thought might be of interest to you gentle reader was that our main man from the PP rocked up in an old Opel corsa.
The socialist jefe pulled up in a brand new Mercedes convertible.
I did notice however he parked it some distance away from the polling station despite the fact that there was plenty of parking closer- I wonder why??
Here’s a nice one:
After having their 11th child, a Scouse couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn´t want to have any more children.
The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, and then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don´t see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
"Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Birmingham, parts of Essex, inner London, Newcastle, Norfolk and anywhere in Wales.
I got a nice comment from a yachtbroker when I asked him how were things down at last month’s Palma boat show.
‘I’ve seen more people waiting at John o Groats bus terminus on a rainy day in January......if that gives you an idea’.
I hear that the ‘second hand boat show’ which followed was a farce too!
Great news that Mike Wood is going to be sprung from the Greek jail sooner than later.
Again his family are up in arms because according to them the transcript of the appeal will show that after the Greek special police looked into the case and reported to the prosecution that there was no real case against Mike.
Thanks to the generosity of many of you at the Pinmar golf gala dinner Mike received money that paid for some warm clothes and went some way to paying the lawyers fees.
Sad to see the Brigantine, John Player aground on Portals beach for so long.
There are many rumours running around about what exactly happened but at the end of the day it just had to be sheer incompetence. The good news is that it has now been towed into Palma and some locals are going to gain from the necessary repairs. ‘It’s an ill wind’... and all that.
At the risk of offending any ‘God botherers’:
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is"
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That´s nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad´s outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom´s lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let´s go outside and toss the baseball."
The boy says, "I can´t. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says, "$1,000."
The father says, "That´s terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is way more than those two things are worth.
I´m going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest, and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "For Chrissake don´t start that shit again"
This, being a born again MCP, I just can’t believe:
Lady drivers in Spain commit fewer traffic offences than men, drive every day, take more safety measures, drive more slowly and are less likely to drive large vehicles, according to a study of the habits of female drivers in Spain compiled by the insurance company, Linea Directa. Sixty-six per cent of women drivers use a car every day and more women than men also drive at weekends. However men tend to spend longer periods of time at the wheel. Only nine per cent of women drivers go over the speed limit on a motorway while 22 per cent admit they drive without a seat belt in towns and cities.
Hasta la pronto,
Bates